"Eggtown"

Season 4, Episode 4


Locke: I made you eggs. What do I do next?
Ben: How ’bout bacon?
Locke: To protect the island, smart ass.
Ben: Yo’ momma!
Locke: No. Yo’ momma.
Ben: Never thought of it that way. Touché.

Sawyer: Move in with me.
Kate: No.
Sawyer: What if you’re pregnant?
Kate: Leave.
Sawyer: Dang, she’s cranky today. Please be PMS, please be PMS, please be PMS…

Judge: Kate Austen, you’re accused of making trouble. How do you plead?
Kate: Not guilty.
Prosecutor: Don’t let her out on bail.
Kate: But I’d never run away!
Judge: Remanded to custody.
Kate: No wait. I’ll do anything! I’ll make puppy dog eyes! I’ll pout!

Lawyer: Your own mother’s going to testify against you. Take a plea bargain.
Kate: No.
Lawyer: Then we have to make this about what a great person you are.
Kate: You’re not exploiting my baby!
Lawyer: But he’s so cute, with his eyes and his little nose and his ears that stick out oh my God make it stop I can’t even take it!!!

Jin: We should move to Albuquerque or New York.
Sun: You narrowed it down to New York and Albuquerque?! Seriously, you’re just pointing at random places, right?
Jack: Hi, we’re back. Recap: this is Charlotte and Daniel, Sayid and Desmond are headed to the boat, Kate’s with Locke, we’ll all be rescued soon. Okay?! Can we just get on with this week’s episode now? Thank you!

Kate: Can I speak to Miles?
Locke: No.
Kate: What is this, a dictatorship?
Locke: ’Course not. If it were a dictatorship I’d have you tarred, feathered, scalded, beaten, shot, stabbed, stretched on the rack, exsanguinated, eviscerated, defenestrated, drawn and quartered, and then I’d hack what was left into itty bitty pieces with my nine hundred knives while gaily singing show tunes and laughing maniacally. Dinner’s at six, hope you’re hungry!

Kate: Hey Hurley. Your shoe’s untied!
Hurley: Miles is in the boathouse. Crap! Nobody’s that gullible!

Kate: What do you know about me?
Miles: That you’ll get me a minute alone with Ben to find out what else I know about you!

Lawyer: I call Dr. Jack Shepherd to the stand.
Jack: Only six of us survived the crash. Kate saved us all. She’s a big hero. I always believed she was innocent.
Prosecutor: Did you fall in love with her?
Jack: What, are you crazy? Of course I did! But I’m not any more.

Naomi’s Phone: Your call cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and try again.
Jack: I’m sure Sayid’s fine.
Sun: Then why did Kate stay with Locke?
Jack: I dunno. He must give back rubs or something.

Kate: How you been?
Sawyer: Good. Wine?
Kate: Sure. Well, ’nuf small talk. Help me break out Ben!

Kate’s Mom: I’m dying and I want to make up. I won’t testify if I can just see my grandson.
Kate: No deal. Prove you love me and you can live in hope that I’ll relent someday.

Sawyer: Backgammon?
Locke: Sure. Everyone knows I’m easily distracted by games!
Sawyer: Kate’s being wack.
Locke: Crap! Miles is unguarded! If we run we may get to the boathouse in time to leave Ben unguarded too!

Kate: Miles, meet Ben. You have one minute, talk.
Miles: I’ll tell my employers you’re dead for 3.2 million bucks. You have two days.
Ben: Dude! I’m tied up in a crazy man’s basement on a remote tropical island! How am I gonna get you that kind of money in two days?
Miles: A week?
Ben: No problem.

Kate: Okay, what do you know?
Miles: You’re wanted for murder, theft, arson, assault with a deadly weapon and kicking a puppy.
Kate: I would never kick a puppy!

Locke: What did Miles and Ben talk about?
Kate: Miles asked for a bribe.
Locke: Interesting. You’re banished.
Kate: You’re making me leave?!
Locke: Or we could do that other thing we talked about…
Kate: I’m gone.

Prosecutor: Our star witness isn’t here.
Judge: I’m sorry, counsel, but you watched A Few Good Men in law school. You’ll just have to deal.

Lawyer: Your case has fallen apart.
Prosecutor: Fine, ten years parole and she can’t leave the state.
Kate: I’ll take it! I just want to raise my son in peace.
Lawyer: They were eating out of my hand! You’d’ve gotten a new car and a shopping spree if you’d held out a little longer!

Daniel: Let me see now... A muffin, a baseball and a red wagon. How'd I do?
Carlotte: Pretty crappy. You were supposed to be remembering playing cards...
Daniel: I'm kinda forgetful.
Charlotte: Maybe I should tell the boat where to shoot rockets from now on…
Daniel: What boat?
Jack: There another phone number we can call?
Charlotte: Yeah.
Regina (over phone): They’re not back yet.
Jack: You’ve lost a helicopter three times? Ever think of making your pilots wear glasses?

Locke: Talk!
Miles: No.
Locke: Oh, you’ll talk… once I put a grenade in your mouth!
Miles: Actually, that makes me want to talk even less!

Sawyer: Why won’t you have sex with me? I already knocked you up!
Kate: I’m not pregnant.
Sawyer: Yes! Yes! Oh, thank you! Thank you, Jay-sus!
Kate: Pig. I’m going back to Jack’s team.
Sawyer: Okay, see you tonight when you decide to switch sides again! I’ll leave dinner in the fridge.

Jack: Congratulations on being free. I lied, I still love you. Go out with me.
Kate: Come over and see us now.
Jack: I’m really, really uncomfortable with that idea.
Kate: Jeez, NOBODY will date a single mother!

Kate: It’s good to be home. I missed you so much… AARON!
Aaron: You think that’s a shock? Next week you’ll find out I’m killing people for Ben!